Forgive the Unforgivable

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt 6:12).

I no longer remember what we were talking about, but more than 15 years later, I still remember my response: “Some things you just can’t forgive.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew they were wrong and wished I could unsay them. Not only were those words not true, they encouraged someone else’s worst impulses.

Here’s the unvarnished truth: Those things you think you can’t forgive? Jesus wants you to forgive them. He demands it. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt 6:14-15).

Jesus told a parable (Matt 18:21-35) about a man who owed his king, in our terms, millions of dollars. Unable to pay what he owed, he begged for mercy, and his king forgave his entire debt. Then he encountered a man who owed him a few thousand dollars. He refused to show him the kind of mercy he himself was shown. Upon learning of this his king was enraged and demanded that he be punished to the fullest extent possible. And Jesus warned that we should expect the same.

Jesus says it’s millions versus thousands. Think about that. The people who’ve ill-treated you, the ones who’ve lied about you, stolen from you, maybe physically harmed you — Jesus says you owe God more than that. We’ve committed treason. We’ve spit in God’s face. And we continue to sin. We’re indwelt by the Holy Spirit; we are now capable of not sinning, but we still do it, and now we drag him along with us. We’ve done so much more against God than anyone has done against us. We have so much to be forgiven. He’s willing to forgive us if we’re willing to forgive them.

Rather than getting bogged down into weighty theological questions, let’s focus on the meat of the matter: Jesus’ people must be people who forgive.

There are lots of horrible things we can do to each other. Forgiving people doesn’t make any of that not wrong. It just means you, personally, aren’t going to hold it against them anymore. It doesn’t mean God won’t deal with them — he will. It means you’re going to leave it to him.

Is it hard to forgive some things? Absolutely. People can malign you, cheat you, steal from you, hurt you, even kill you. And you can forgive them. Jesus did.

After being lied about, mocked, falsely accused of a crime, and beaten, while he was in the process of being murdered, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34).

What Jesus did, he expects us to do. We are told to “forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col 3:13), but more than that, Jesus says, forgive if you want to be forgiven (Matt 6:12).


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